Try taking some time to write what I wanna let it out here.
Frankly speaking, I haven't had much time actually, really. The past 2 weeks, am so burdened by ALL the assignmentS, quizzeS, MidTermS. I was having short breath and palpitation, sort of~ without the supplement here-- iron, zinc, vit B Co, vit C, and the small blue habbatus sawda ( how come I forgot to bring together these very penting thing and left it all at home?) all the cellular process becomes weak.
In the midst of it all ( the academic thing) all of a sudden, Madam Elisa told me that I was selected to be the representative of my uni to Universiti Malaya (UM) for the World Statistic Day. Allahuakbar! I thought it was just a pameran that we are going to visit. But what was the answer then?
NO! In fact, it's s a competition and we ( me, Sien, Azfar n Imran) need to make a preparation for that particular day, that are going to be held on this upcoming Saturday ( Oct 9). The preparation was done already. We are going to go there on Friday morning, insya Allah. Allahuakbar how am I going to steal my own time T___T huu.. da la takde sahabat-sahabat kat UM~
*crying face*
Cant imagine how.... Its a normal thing to speak up or give a speech in English in front of our own friends and the lecturer, or classmate too. Tapi.... Now I need to speak English to make a presentation on some issue on Statistic in front of the judges and all the participants from other universities T___T *crying face*
Tell me do I have a right to feel nervous..... Say yes please.......
Its ok! I have no problem! They are just challenges! ( try to bersangka baik and think positively)
I still remember what my friend said to me. Her friend expressed her weird feeling towards me. Mostly the conversation was like below:
“Pelik kan tengok kak Dyana tuh. Dia nampak macam baik, macam alim tapi dia speaking BI kan."
Allahu. I was stunned to hear that. Ha! Ha! A Muslimah cannot speak in English? Or to make it better, does a Muslimah forbidden to speak in English?? Allahuakbar, if it really so, so I am the one who did a sin?
Im not that good in English but at least I am trying ... The same thing goes on for Arabic, even I do know I cannot speak Arabic, but I still try to use some words in it. Ignore it. Doesnt mean u r Muslimah, then u need to berjalan penuh kesantunan dan kelembutan sebab Rasulullah sendiri jalan laju what? Setiap orang ada kelebihan masing-masing . yang memang semulajadi lemah lembut, Alhamdulillah. Pada yang lasak, tidak mengapa. Pasti ada kelebihannya disitu.
Hmm.. teringat kisah diri sendiri, dulu. Selalu ingin kelihatan lasak dan kasar, tapi masih ingat lagi apa reaksi kawan-kawan sekolah rendah bila kami bertemu semula pada satu pertandingan kawad kaki KRS perigkat Negeri 2006 ( alhamdulillah as expected and as usual, SAKTI menang) :
“hah?!! Ya Allah Dyana masuk kawad kaki?? KRS pulak tuh?? Tak percaya laa!! Dia tuh lembut sangat!”
Kakak senior yang cerita pada saya. Malunya saya subhanallah Allah je tahu. Malu bila orang tahu rupanya saya dulu macam mana. Ye lah, kat sekolah menengah cuba jadi kasar, lasak, aktif, Nampak cool bila langgar rules sekolah, tapi tiba-tiba senior dapat tahu saya bagaimana dulu.
End of story.
Back to the real story. A special BIG thank you to Mawardi (the one who has made a history for he did made his very own virus called Mawar and spread it to all the students and the staffs of my uni, dulu) for the help. To my classmate, Azfar too, thanks for your time. But its worth it. Because u got a reasonable excuse to escape the midT last Thurs.
Sebenarnya bukan na cakap ni la... nak cakap rindu adik....... Muhammad Hafiz Masri..... Kakak mu ini merinduimu dik.. Hari tuh call adik, tataw nape dengar je suara dia yang da mula jadi sangat garau (laugh) tiba-tiba hati jadi sebak, rasa rindu datang membuak-buak. Hampir-hampir airmata tumpah. Tak pernah saya ungkapkan untuknya ucapan ‘i love you’. Never!
Tapi hari tu... buat pertama kalinya saya ungkapkan kasih sayang saya padanya dengan ungkapan 143 itu. Saya memang jenis mempamerkan kasih sayang. Dengan ma, ayah, abang, kakak-kakak, sahabat-sahabat. Tapi adik lain... cara tunjuk sayang dengan dia adalah, dengar cerita dia, belanja dia pape, bergurau. Teringat dialog sengal dengan adik.
Apis : kak yana bile balik johor?
Me : hmm 4 dis kot, insya Allah. Apis balik jb bile?
Apis : kita balik raya haji nih. Pergh kak yana lama gile x balik. 12 minggu! 3 bulan kot. Apsal x balik krismas ke 8 je nanti?
Me : krismas? Eh tak la. Krismas kan 25, akak balik dah la 4hb tuh.
.......................*sepi 5 saat. Tiada respon dari adinda nan seorang
Me : oh! Oh akak paham! Haha! Maksud apis akk lama sgt x balik kan kan? N tuh perli kan? Nape x nak lama lagi tggu krismas lagi 8 tahun kan?*penuh excited suara*
Apis : mak aih kak yana, x bole lambat lagi ke? Tak berubah. Asik pending je.
Hmm... Apis good luck ea Pis. I know the exam fever is in the air. Ur PMR is coming tomorrow (5/10). For those who have adik who will be sitting for PMR tomorrow, here I provide u their schedule.
5/10 Selasa : BM1, BM2, Agama
6/10 Rabu : BI1, BI2, Sejarah
7/10 Khamis : Sains 1. Sains 2, Geografi
11/10 Isnin : Math1, Math2, KH
Setiap saat yang terjadi adalah bukti betapa Allah Maha Bijaksana dalm menyusun takdir bagi hidup kita. Takdir Allah begitu indah, begitu tersusun sekali perancanganNYA. Masya Allah~ Sentiasalah sangka baik denganNYA~ Relakanlah diri untuk dikasihiNYA~ Mungkin ada yang akan kata, ‘hesy! Memang aku sangat mendamba agar dicintai Allah’
Tapi tanyakan semula pada diri, betulkah begitu? Benarkah kita merelakan diri untuk dikasihiNYA? Kerana apa saya tanyakan begini?
Kerana tanda dikasihiNYA adalah DIA takkan biarkan kita dalam kelalaian. Sentiasa akan diujiNYA~ jadi, bersyukurlah bila mendapat ujian atau ditimpa kesedihan, kerana disitu terletak kasih sayang Tuhan, alhamdulillah~
“apis akk syg apis. I love u taw”
“hmm ye, taw, kita pun. Syg kak yana sgt2”
“tak la. Akk syg kau lebih laa”
“hmm ye laa”
‘yea akk menang. Akk syg ko lebih”
“Kak yana... i love u too”
...........Call ended........................
